[Open Post] Bored Scientist

[hostile_n_weird]

Got a biological issue you need help with? (Especially if you need a specialist with some discretion.) Want some serious body modification? (Including adding or removing body parts.) Need a creative prank or revenge idea? (Extra charge if you're the asshole.)

All contacts will be considered, but if you're boring, expect a surcharge.

Comments

[what_fourth_wall]

Okayokayokay. See, I AM the biological issue that's been modified and done all the pranking and revenge. You can experiment on me all you want...

IF you also experiment on YOU!!! Because check it. [He pulls out some blonde hair, fingernails, etc] So, these are from other Yous, right? And ever since I met the second Elenore, I've been dying to know something...how much of them is in you? Do you contain Nore-titudes? Are you your own individual Nore, or is there a connection between all the Nores? Is it the chaotic nature of multiversal nature, or is there something deeper?

I've got SOME thoughts, but I dunno. I keep meeting new Elenores! But I'm also a multiversal dude! Maybe that's what keeps drawing us together to meet? But that would suggest order!! When it might be chaos!!

...But this might be for an astrophysics Nore hmm. But I guess my big question is, are biology and astrophysics linked? It sounds like a smart question. Is it?

[hostile_n_weird]

[Overwhelmed by the large amount of information or by the content? Either way she's got a major EXPRESSION going on.] Not again - how many of them have you met? Did you get one of the military ones or one of the stoner ones? The ones who want to take the world over are kind of the worst, but some of the lazy ones do some weird shit-

[what_fourth_wall]

Well, the first one I didn't know very well, but she got it on with Thor so I think she got a happy ending. Pretty chill, early in life. The second was later in life and total mad scientist, but didn't really have the drive to take over the world because she could give a fuck less. I dated her for a bit. She was super cool.

Wait, you've met other yous???? And some actually DO want to take over the world??? Based on what I know of Elenores, there's no way the ones that wanted to take over the world failed to do so.

[hostile_n_weird]

[She pays attention and clearly takes some mental notes on the newest variations of her alternate selves.]

Met some, dealt with people who met others, but it seems like I get a bit more of that than a lot of them, probably because of my specialties.

No, I don't want to take over the world, but there are ones who have to some degree.

[what_fourth_wall]

What are your specialties? Will I fascinate you as much as I did the others?

[He rubs his chin] I think the last Nore liked me, don't get me wrong, but I also think she had sex with me out of scientific curiosity too because she was super into biology and mine is weird.

[hostile_n_weird]

Started with a strong background in the biological sciences but became something of a jill of all trades master of none while pursuing my interests and survival.
Still don't know why they were fascinated?

...I'm going to guess no. Like, don't get me wrong, I've definitely fucked for curiosity, but there's only so much you can learn about unique biology that way unless someone is really, REALLY different.

[what_fourth_wall]

Is survival a pressing concern for your own Elenore life? [He shrugs] I dunno. I like to think it was cause we were friends.

Yeah, that's true. At the end of the day, there's only so many variations on intraspecies fucking.

[hostile_n_weird]

Survival is always a concern for a person with my skillset and no innate defensive abilities. [Nods.] Friendship is complicated and strange.

So, she either liked you or was just horny on main.

[what_fourth_wall]

You know, with both the Elenores I knew, making the right friends was basically their superpower. One hooked up with Thor, and the other hooked up a telepathic telekinetic guy who could pop people's heads, and also me. Elenores seem to be good at enamoring the right people in addition to making the coolest things.

Maybe both...[thoughtful]

[hostile_n_weird]

Hahahahaha yeah that’s not my skill set. Well, I make cool things but building relationships is not one of the things I do best.

Could be. Dichotomies tend to be traps for lazy thinking.

[what_fourth_wall]

You might be surprised. I don't think the last Nore I knew would consider it part of hers either. But here you have me sniffing around, and if you haven't met Threshy aka Matt yet I'd be shocked.

But then...could be that falling for one Elenore means falling for all... [He rubs his chin in thought]

[hostile_n_weird]

Phrasing, dude. And Threshy…? Matt, wait do you mean Callahan?

Pffft, I hope not. Thor is not my type, though I could use ask him for a few numbers…also I am looking to be appreciated for my own individual variation.

[what_fourth_wall]

Yep! That's him! SEE! You have met him!! Matt can't resist an Elenore. That's a fact.

Hey, your variation has a pretty amazing vibe with those icons! I'm digging the goggles. And the Ghostbusters.

[hostile_n_weird]

PHRASING. That is an entirely platonic relationship.

Goggles are basic safety if you want to keep eyes, but no ghosts! I do not deal with intangibles unless they're anchored in a tangible.

[what_fourth_wall]

For now...he's pretty smooth.

They're also good for chopping onions! Seriously underrated goggle use right there. But you're missing out on the ghost thing, they can be pretty entertaining.

[hostile_n_weird]

Sure he is. But that wouldn't be the issue.

Point, and I get enough random and potentially haunting stuff. Don't need more of it from literal ghosts.

[what_fourth_wall]

Ohoho? Not your type???

Butbut...who ya gonna call?

[hostile_n_weird]

That's a way of saying it

No one. Unless I have to.

[what_fourth_wall]

You're hinting at some interesting sexual preferences there!! Or lack thereof!!

Well, if you do get ghosts, you call me. Not for my expertise, but just because I want to see them.

[hostile_n_weird]

Bi in a 'yay, women! and I guess maybe that one guy over there.'

Probably won't no. Maybe text, but probably won't.

[what_fourth_wall]

Gotcha. Mostly women, but open to the possibility of an aesthetically pleasing guy!

That sounds about right. It's the Introvert Way!

[hostile_n_weird]

More personality than aesthetics, but you get the general idea.

I'm not actually an introvert. It's more about distraction.

[what_fourth_wall]

GAH. Yeah. Sorry, that's my guy filter getting in the way. I should've said personality over aesthetics.

Huh, yeah, I get that too. Also empathize more than the introvert side. I'm always distrac-OOOH WHAT IS THAT SHINY THING YOU HAVE THERE?! [picks up something that he really shouldn't]

[hostile_n_weird]

Aesthetics over safety is definitely more likely to be a guy thing.

It bites. [She's not trying to stop him as he picks up a thing that is definitely part giant rainbow colored beetle, and questionably part electronic given the shiny flashing lights.]

[what_fourth_wall]

[Aesthetics over safety definitely applies to both sides of their conversation suddenly] Yeah, I bet...OW!!!! [he flails as the beetle has bitten him] I thought you meant METAPHORICALLY...owowow!!!

[hostile_n_weird]

Everything in my lab should always be assumed to be capable of self defense.

Do you need a rescue?

[what_fourth_wall]

Is that necessary??? I mean, it's obvs awesome, but necessary???

No, no, I got it..I'm fine... [He yanks it off of his finger. Unfortunately, it takes the finger with it.] I'M FINE. THIS IS FINE. [Blood spurt]

[hostile_n_weird]

Yes. How else do you keep people from touching things?

[She takes the beetle from him, thumping her fingers along the lights on its shell until its butt glows bright red, and she jams that on his finger stub. The sizzle is audible.]

[what_fourth_wall]

Good point, I guesssaaaaAAAAHHH!!!!! OW OW OW THAT BURNS!!!

[waving his hand around] I appreciate the thought, but DAMN cauterizing will make the regeneration hurt more...

[hostile_n_weird]

Oh good, you regenerate on your own, that saves some time.

Also, I'm willing to bet the things that would have shown up to check out your excessive bleeding would be more painful than the healing.

[naturaldisasster]

I’m regrettin’ this already.

‘Less a body-modification thing that I need from you, and more of a ‘measure me while I see if I can modify my own damn body without askin’ too many fuckin’ questions’ type deal.

You can probably whip somethin’ like that together in your sleep, [ She says, flicking some metallic piece of equipment with her finger. ]

[hostile_n_weird]

Definitely not boring so far.

What body parts and how do you want the measurements taken? Physically? Would lasers or cameras be an option?

[naturaldisasster]

Not that kinda body modification, sorry if I gave you a scientific boner. If I pulled that shit on camera, I could count my breaths. There wouldn't be many.

[ She found a stool and parked her ass. ] I need to know whether or not I can make myself measurably faster. And stronger.

I dunno if lasers and cameras would do the trick. That'd be your expertise.

[hostile_n_weird]

Damn, but okay, that would probably be better recorded for speed and there are some standard strength measurements. But how strong do you expect to get because I don't need the super strength damaging equipment I need to repair or replace thing again.

[naturaldisasster]

That’s a fair question and all, but trust me when I tell you this thing don’t come with an instruction manual. Your guess is as good as mine.

[ Well, not exactly. ] However strong I am, I’m supposed t’be able t’make myself that much faster. And vice versa, but it’s no good to me if I’m throwin’ a punch at a snail’s pace —Wait, what do y’mean again?

[hostile_n_weird]

You aren't the first person with abilities who's wanted an assessment to better understand themselves.

So you haven't been able to do what you think you should do and you want baseline testing to get an idea of where you're starting from?

[naturaldisasster]

Well, no, I don’t imagine I would be. I guess I’m just surprised that so many of us come t’you with this shit, when your thing is more— [ She trails off, gesturing vaguely at the complicated lab equipment. Oni’s sure there’s a name for what Nore does, she just has no Earthly idea what it is. ] —Whatever th’hell this is.

Ah, yes and no. I think I’ve learned how t’do it? But I’d rather not wait until I need it to figure out th’nuts and bolts.

[hostile_n_weird]

Little bit of everything. That and me not being tied to anyone too much or too likely to do anything terrible makes people more likely to agree. Also, I'm good at it.

That makes it easier. Are there any particular conditions you need to be successful?